Hi everyone out there
Isetan is having a private sale on this Thursday, 28 Sept 2006.
Need to be a Isetan card holder, or know someone who got isetan card to bring you in.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Natas Holidays 2006
Planning to go on holidays. Natas travel fair is here again. 29 Sept to 1 Oct at Singapore Expo Hall 5 & 6A. Got lucky draws, especially for those paying by Citibank credit cards.
For more information, look for this .
For more information, look for this .
Going Bananas
Bananas. Containing three natural sugars - sucrose, fructose and glucose combined with fiber, a banana gives an instant, sustained and substantial boost of energy.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, "eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.
Research has proven that just two bananas provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder the banana is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes.
But energy isn't the only way a banana can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses and conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.
Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND amongst people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating a banana. This is because bananas contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood and generally make you feel happier. PMS: Forget the pills - eat a banana. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.
Anemia: High in iron, bananas can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood and so helps in cases of anemia.
Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it the perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food and Drug Administration has just allowed the banana industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure and stroke.
Brain Power: 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating bananas at breakfast, break, and lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.
Constipation: High in fiber, including bananas in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.
Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a banana milkshake, sweetened with honey. The banana calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes and re-hydrates your system.
Heartburn: Bananas have a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating a banana for soothing relief.
Morning Sickness: Snacking on bananas between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up and avoid morning sickness.
Mosquito bites: Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of a banana skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.
Nerves: Bananas are high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.
Overweight and at work? Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.
Ulcers: The banana is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture and smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity and reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.
Temperature control: Many other cultures see bananas as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical and emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In Thailand, for example, pregnant women eat bananas to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD): Bananas can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer tryptophan.
Smoking: Bananas can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium and magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.
Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain and regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium banana snack.
Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, "eating bananas as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%!
Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of banana skin and place it on the wart, with the yellow side out. Carefully hold the skin in place with a plaster or surgical tape!
So, a banana really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has four times the protein, twice the carbohydrate, three times the phosphorus, five times the vitamin A and iron, and twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium and is one of the best value foods around.
How Chinese are you?
1. You look like you are 18.
2. You like to eat chicken feet.
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
5. You sing Karaoke.
6. Your house is covered with tile.
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
17. You love to use coupons.
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
20. You take showers at night.
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable. ;
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper.
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth).
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
34. You have never used your dishwasher.
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
38. You have a piano in your living room
39. You pick your teeth a t the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
41. You hate to waste food.
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
48. Your dad thinks h e can fix everything himself.
49. The dash board of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys.
50. You don't use measuring cups.
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book (or online now), since calling information costs 50 cents.
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
59. Shaolin actually means something to you.
60. You like congee with thousand year old eggs. &nb sp;
61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight
64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to "yeet hay".
65. You know what yeet hay is.
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
73. You know what moon cakes are.
74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. 75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
76. You iron your own shirts.
77. You play a musical instrument.
78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
79. You've eaten a red bean Popsicle.
80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighbor hood.
84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table. 87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends.
2. You like to eat chicken feet.
3. You suck on fish heads and fish fins.
4. You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging on your rear view mirror.
5. You sing Karaoke.
6. Your house is covered with tile.
7. Your kitchen is covered by a sticky film of grease.
8. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.
9. You leave the plastic covers on your remote control.
10. You've never kissed your mom or dad.
11. You've never hugged your mom or dad.
12. Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.
13. You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".
14. You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.
15. Your hair sticks up when you wake up.
16. You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.
17. You love to use coupons.
18. You drive around looking for the cheapest petrol.
19. You drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.
20. You take showers at night.
21. You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.
22. You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.
23. Most girls have more body hair than you, if you are male.
24. You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.
25. You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.
26. You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable. ;
27. You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.
28. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can reuse the paper.
29. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
30. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
31. You spit bones and other food scraps on the table. (That's why you need the vinyl tablecloth).
32. You have stuff in the freezer since the beginning of time.
33. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
34. You have never used your dishwasher.
35. You keep a Thermos of hot water available at all times.
36. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
37. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
38. You have a piano in your living room
39. You pick your teeth a t the dinner table (but you cover your mouth).
40. You twirl your pen around your fingers.
41. You hate to waste food.
42. You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
43. You don't own any real Tupperware - only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
44. You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.
45. You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
46. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These snacks are always dried and include dried plums, mango, ginger, and squid.
47. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
48. Your dad thinks h e can fix everything himself.
49. The dash board of your Honda is covered by hundreds of small toys.
50. You don't use measuring cups.
51. You beat eggs with chopsticks.
52. You have a teacup with a cover on it.
53. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book (or online now), since calling information costs 50 cents.
54. You only make long distance calls after 11pm.
55. If you are male, you clap at something funny and if you are female, you giggle whilst placing a hand over your mouth.
56. You like Chinese films in their original undubbed versions.
57. You love Chinese Martial Arts films.
58. You've learnt some form of martial arts.
59. Shaolin actually means something to you.
60. You like congee with thousand year old eggs. &nb sp;
61. You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached.
62. You never call your parents just to say hi.
63. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight
64. When you're sick, your parents tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods due to "yeet hay".
65. You know what yeet hay is.
66. You e-mail your Chinese friends at work, even though you only 10 feet apart.
67. You use a face cloth.
68. You starve yourself before going to all you can eat places.
69. You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
70. You save your old Coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
71. You own your own meat cleaver and sharpen it.
72. Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.
73. You know what moon cakes are.
74. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out. 75. Your parents know how to launch nasal projectiles.
76. You iron your own shirts.
77. You play a musical instrument.
78. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
79. You've eaten a red bean Popsicle.
80. You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.
81. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
82. You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.
83. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old (and they prefer it that way). Or if you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighbor hood.
84. You don't tip more than 10% at a restaurant, and if you do, you tip Chinese delivery guys/waiters more.
85. You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.
86. You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table. 87. You know why there are 88 reasons.
88. You see the truth in this and then send it to all your Chinese friends.
Mooncakes! Mmm! Die Die Must Eat!
Mid-autumn festival is coming soon. In Singapore, we are celebrating on 6 Oct this year. Wow there are so many variety of mooncakes this year. There is cheese mooncakes from Dragon Phoenix Restaurant with its black and gold box. One of most attractive packaging must be the one coming from Li Bai Restaurant, Sheraton Towers Singapore. Its premium boxes comes in two kind of Chinese cabinets with 4 drawers each, each with a mooncake in its drawer. Prices also very attractive at $68 and $78.
One of new flavours of the year must Baked mooncake with OREO Cookies ($39 for 4 pcs a box) from Raffles Hotel.
One of new flavours of the year must Baked mooncake with OREO Cookies ($39 for 4 pcs a box) from Raffles Hotel.
One of popular invention this year is 2-coloured snow skin mooncakes. An example is two snowskin greentea twist mooncake from Hua Ting Restaurant, Orchard Hotel.
If you wish to buy, should go to Takashimaya B2, 'cos there having the most variety in Singapore. Beside mooncakes from Singapore, there is also mooncakes from Japan and Hong Kong.
Mooncakes discounts for those with credit cards can check out the following websites : HSBC , UOB , DBS/POSB , OCBC .
But if mooncakes is not your cup of tea, you could also celebrate at the Chinese Gardens with its various lanterns lighted at night.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Kyotosabo "AJITEI"
Do any of you remember Ajisen Dining Nagomi restaurant in Takashimaya B2? It has recently changed into a new restaurant called Kyotosabo "AJITEI" for Japanese snacks and desserts. Very nice display of the desserts outside the restaurant. There is also another branch in Bugis Junction, Level 1. Although the name has changed, it seems that the cooks are still same as the food still taste horribly the same. Ordered fried prawns which my partner complained that the oil used has been used too many times. Don't taste good then. Also order a bowl of ramen which she said that the mee is too hard.
Reminded me of the last time when I ate there when it was called Ajisen Dining Nagomi. The tempura was undercooked with flour sticking out.
I think I will not go there for a long time.
Reminded me of the last time when I ate there when it was called Ajisen Dining Nagomi. The tempura was undercooked with flour sticking out.
I think I will not go there for a long time.
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Waraku
Tonpeiyaki (pork) ($6.80)
Puri Ebi ($8.80)
Cod Hooba Yaki ($9.80)Heard a lot about Waraku from others and wanted to try again. Like the Puri Ebi which had huge prawns in them. As for the Cod Hooba Yaki, you had to grill it yourself. Funny how the leave never got burnt. And for Tonpeiyaki (pork), it was a hot and cold taste. Ice cold shredded cabbage below hot fried eggs. Nice place and nice food, should come again.
Total damages includes 10% service charge, 1% excess and 5% GST
Waraku Japanese Restaurant
ADDRESS : 6 Raffles Boulevard,
ADDRESS : 6 Raffles Boulevard,
Marina Square # 01-213
Friday, September 15, 2006
Sushi Promotion
Take note that must be at least 9 coloured plates of sushi. The 10th plate onwards will count as $1.90.Wednesday, September 13, 2006
HR Memo
To all Employees:
Effective January 2007
Dress Code
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Holiday Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Compassionate Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Effective January 2007
Dress Code
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Holiday Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Compassionate Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the "Chronic Offenders" category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.
Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
Big Diamond Man
Got this frend Ah pek, he just got to know one China Piao mei who is in Malaysia on "vacation" so after a few days going out with this Piao mei then one day Ah pek asked the Piao mei :
Ah pek : Piao mei ar ... we go out so many days ledi wor .... when you wanna lemme wat wat u jek?
Piao mei : Ah pek ar .... you so fast wanna wat wat me meh? I only know you for a few days only worrr
Ah pek : a few days still not long enuff to show my sincerity meh? I really lafu you wan worr
Piao mei : Still not enuff ler .... there is something you havent done yet ler ....
Ah pek : What is that jek? faster tell me ... i fast fast go do!
Piao mei : All my frends mia bf all got buy them jewelry wan wor ... but you .. Ahpek : Say no more! I bring you go buy now!
Ahpek then bring Piao mei go Kedai Emas Poh Kong .... you should see the glow on Piao mei 's face when she enters Poh Kong dat time.As Ah pek enters the shop, he loud loud tok to the small counter clerk :
Ah pek : Eh ... ask your Manager come! I want buy diamond ring for my gf!
Later the Manager come with 2 packs of Drinho Packet drink ....
Manager : Boss, sit down and have a drink first ... we slow slow tok ok?
Ah pek : Eh lu Manager har? then bring me a very spesel diamong ring! i wanna buy for my pretty gf here.
Manager : Wuah! you really " sik foh" (know your stuffs) ... know how to come to our place asking for diamond ring! our diamond ring very fehmes wan! Nah boss .... this one 3 carats, very shinny diamond ... after discount i gibe lu RM5,000 ok anot?
Ah pek : I think you no skool much wan la! which part of " Very Spesel" you dont understand? 3 carat?!!! My maid's diamond ring also more than 3 carats la!!!
Manager : Wuahh!!!! very little peeple so expert like you wan ler boss! I like you very much! Nah what about this? this wan 5 carats .... after discount RM13,000 only.
Ah pek : What discount discount? I dunwan those got discount discount wan! bring me something without discount!
Manager : Wuahh!!! ok ok I understand ledi boss! You really come to the right place liow! I recomen you this 10 carats diamond ring! This ring last time owned by itu HK Singer Kenny B mia ex wife wan ... this one made from the precious blue diamond from Egypt, only our shop got this! This one knot gibe discount ... the price is RM90,000
Ah pek : Hmmm ... lidis lar i like! come come lemme take a look
*Ah pek then pass it to the Piao mei and ask her :*
Ah pek : How baobei? you like this one anot? last time Kenny B's ex wife also wear before wan leh ..
Piao mei : I like Ahpek ! I like!
*Ah pek then pass back the ring to the Manager and said :*
Ah pek : ok la .. I take this one ... just now you said RM90,000 izzit ?
Manager : Yes boss, RM90,000 .... no discount
Ah pek : Ok lar . my gf here love the ring very much .... i take it la!
Manager : Tenkiu boss!!! How would you like to pay? with Cash or card boss?
Ah pek : Cash? lu siao har? who walk on the street with 90k in their poket wan? Manager : soli soli ... then you pay card izzit?
Ah pek : Pay card??!!! you know how high is the interest anot??!! diu!
Manager : Then?
Ah pek : Lidis lar .. I give you cek ok? you no need to gimme the ring 1st .... today is saturday mah bank alredi closed so u wait till monday only go bank take money la! the cek cleared ledi only i come and take the ring ok anot?
Manager : Ohhh ... lidat ok la! ok set boss, later monday your cek cleared ledi I will call you to come and take the ring ok?
Ah pek : dont call so early hor! I dont wakeup till 12pm wan.
Manager : Yes sir! I know sir.
*Then Ahpek issued the cek and hand it over to the Manager then Ahpek and Piao mei left the shop ...... 2 days later (Monday) the Manager called Ahpek on his handphone : *
Manager : Oi Cilaka lu! your account left RM18.02 only la! Diu! you where got money to buy a RM90,000 ring??!!!
Ah pek : I know my account no money wor ... I pretend to wanna buy my gf the ring only mah ... Knot ah?
Manager : Wuah you farker! If your gf know you are dem pokai I sure she will dump 9 u straight away!
Ah pek : AAhhh ... dat one I know ledi laa ... tell you something you derno lar .... you know how nice she serbis-ED me on Saturday and Sunday anot?
WUAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!
WARNING : Kids, pls dont try this on your own ok? Ah pek is a trained propesionel .... hes higly trained to do this kinda stunts wan ..... if you are not highly trained like him, you might end up getting vietnam rose or saigon trumpet wan! Dun say i neber warn you ok?!
Growing Old
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says:" Slim, I'm 83 years and now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?" Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby.""Really!?! Like a newborn baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants.
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An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly.The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?" The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns.""Do you mean a rose?""Yes, that's the one," replied the man. He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?
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Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged.However, while working as ! a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman--already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet--who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him."I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
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Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair."Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" "Sure.""Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks. "No, I can remember it." "Well, I'd like some strawberries on top,too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?"He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.""I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"Then he toddles into the kitchen.After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.She stares at the plate for a moment. "Where's my toast?"
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Three old guys are out walking.First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."
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A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
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Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, ! aren't you?"Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"
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A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath,he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?" "No," he replied, "Arthritis."
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Saturday, September 02, 2006
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